LET’S STIR THINGS UP! In an eco-friendly manner

Ah, a delicious cup o' java!
Ah, a delicious cup o’ java!

Brandon Wiggins, Author and Conservationist

Coffee Stirrers. These, my friends, are perhaps the biggest environmental affront in the entire array of unnecessary disposable culinary accessories.

Stirrers come in red and black, tall and short, wood and plastic. They are displayed on the coffee condiment tables of every cafeteria, diner, break room, and beatnik java house from Berkeley to Boston, Pike’s Market to Pensacola.

The issue is, as tiny and seemingly inconsequential as these little buggers are, if you mathematically assess each coffee stirrer thrown in the trash from every borough in every country, it adds up to tremendous tonnage poised to infect the natural order of chemistry.

And yes, the balance of global chemistry is precisely the issue.

Plastic is a petroleum product. Due to the worldwide political and industrial machine, plastic is light, accessible, and cheap. Wood is not as bad, as it is also biodegradable. That being said, did you know that the average Smart and Final java stir stick is made from the White Birch (Betula pendula)? That this majestic beauty is cut down for stirrers? Seems kind of superfluous, don’t you think?

Let’s also not forget that every tree on this planet sequesters an amazing amount of carbon. Putting together the eradication of a live tree, the dirty fuel used to harvest it (gas burning farm and forestry implements are the worst offenders), and the manufacturing process consuming tons of fresh water, and we have issues on the larger scale…

If each coffee-drinking inhabitant of this tiny planet could just make a few miniscule changes in their daily rituals, we could begin a cultural change in favor of our Mother.

Here is the dilemma. You have coffee. It must be creamy—and of course you need sweetener. I for one dislike coffee but love cream and sugar. Nonetheless, they must be as one. So how can one accomplish a pleasing formulation of that silky sweet chemical concoction?

Here are some suggestions.

There may be a utensil on the table you can use. The use of your spoon is by far friendlier to the environment than any disposable stirring apparatus, but not as good as the next suggestion (unless your spoon was going to get dirty anyway).

If you want a sure-fire environmentally kind fix, try this:

Colloidal suspension: In your empty coffee cup, put in your sweetener. Liquid or powder, the science works the same. Add cream and swirl the mixture about while holding the cup. Then add your coffee. This is called a colloidal suspension. You will find that it mixes itself with absolutely no damage to the planet! If you use a powdered creamer, just pour a little coffee to mix it with in the beginning to achieve the same effect. The energy expended is your own, not the lumberjack, exporter, manufacturer, distributor, stocking clerk, waste management facility, or the regal Birch (not just any tree!) all who utilize countless ecological systems to create this beverage emulsifying product.

Now, I don’t mean to preach like your hippie Aunt Moonbeam but we have got to get a collective grip! We can do this. It requires our conscious choice.

We can start here, one little beverage accessory at a time.

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